


A place to rest my weary soul

by Eliabrith



Series: Bonds not of Blood [3]
Category: Shetland (TV)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, First Time, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:17:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliabrith/pseuds/Eliabrith
Summary: A slip of Duncan's tongue leads to the reassessing of relationships.





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> AN: My plan to write a couple of standalone pieces went slightly awry and turned into a series. Most of this part is written (as long as I stop rewriting bits it)  
AN2: This was sparked off a few months ago before I got the DVD's yet and was reading through transcripts of the season 5 episodes. As the transcripts didn't have character details on it I spend half a day until I got a chance check iPlayer wondering if I'd somehow missed Jimmy and Duncan actually finishing a call with Love you, Love you too... Sadly not as Jimmy hangs up and says it to Cassie but for a brief while it was an amusing thought that I thought might make a fun little piece.  
AN3: Unbetaed

The sound of a phone ringing for the tenth time since he'd sat down at his desk to try and get the delivery paperwork done had Duncan answering it on autopilot. 'Gran Grifòn Bistro.'

'I know you've been half living there but I didn't think you'd changed your name to match.' At least Jimmy sounded amused as Duncan took a glance to see it was his mobile he'd answered rather than the handset for the bistro.

'Ah Jimmy, sorry. I've been fielding calls since I got back from the airport. There's a cruise ship in and the town is overrun with tourists. I got handed the phone as no-one else has had a minute to answer it.'

‘Well that's good for business, I saw the cruise ship in the harbour as we docked. Cassie get away OK?’

Duncan leaned back in his chair to stretch his neck then winced when it popped.

They'd had Cassie's farewell dinner the night before, term wasn’t due to start for a couple more weeks but Cassie had wanted to meet up with her friends and get settled back into life in Glasgow before classes started for the year. They’d just been clearing the dishes when a call had come from the station that they needed a detective on the Out Skerries and Tosh was already out on another shout with Amber Ross, the DC who was in Lerwick on exchange while Sandy was undergoing some remedial training at the Police College in Fife. It had meant Jimmy overnighting on Housay and not making it back to the mainland before Cassie's early morning flight.

‘Aye, the Glasgow flight was even on time for once too. You just back?'

A tired yawn came over the line. 'Yeah. I'd hoped to be back before she left but the weather didn't oblige.'

'She was all set for getting a taxi and going without either of us there but I'd a package to drop off down at Toab so she put up with the company.' The handset on the desk rang. 'Hold on a minute?'

'Sure.'

Duncan swapped his mobile for the handset and tugged the diary closer in case it was a booking.

'Gran Grifòn Bistro. Yes we can cater for gluten free, just be sure to mention it when ordering. Thank you, bye. Sorry about that Jimmy. You just calling to check up on Cassie?'

'No, I'm calling because Rhona wants me to book a table for Amber's leaving dinner and I didn't fancy listening to you moan for days if I didn't call you first.'

'See if I bring you any more leftovers home.' Duncan threatened amused, from what Jimmy had said few at the station would miss the young DC who had been less than impressed with her temporary posting while Sandy was away for 'additional development training after his suspension. 'When were you thinking of, Friday?'

'No she's a ticket out on Fridays ferry. She apparently booked it the day she arrived. Thursday night, about seven doable? Assuming nothing comes up there should be about eight to ten of us.'

'Not a problem I can stick you in the side room upstairs, that way you'll get a bit of privacy from the general rabble. If Amber's getting a goodbye dinner does the mean Sandy's getting a welcome back one?'

'Stop touting for business.’

Duncan sighed as the land line rang again. 'One sec. Gran Grifòn Bistro. Yes we're open to half ten tonight. Bye. I’ve the opening hours posted everywhere I can and yet they still keep asking.'

‘Are you not sick of rhyming that mouthful of a name off yet?'

Duncan laughed remembering the baffled expression on Jimmy's face when Cassie had presented him with the finished website loaded on her iPad complete with the name, graphics, and pages detailing the menu and the history behind the name.

'Hey you can't knock it. If it wasnae for that ship sinking on Fair Isle you'd not be here. Besides the tourists are finding it fascinating, according to Judith the cruise ship even had a lecture last night about the various wrecks around the isles which has made us flavour of the day.'

'That not a wee bit morbid? Oh thanks Billy.’ The last was distantly muttered presumably as Jimmy was handed some information for him to work on.

'As long as they don't re-enact any of them and it keeps the tourists calling in for a while to thaw out after being exposed to our inclement weather and sample the wares I'll not object.'

'Hmm.' Was the distracted reply and Duncan rolled his eyes. He'd learned years ago not to take offence at how easily Jimmy slipped away into his work when he got started.

A knock at the door sounded and he looked up to see Judith, his normally unruffled head waitress, looking nervous as she came in and picked up the handset and diary from the desk.

'There's someone here to see you Duncan. I can take the phone now the rush is over.'

Behind her, still standing in the corridor, Mary gave him a small wave as he stared at her in surprise.

He hadn't seen her since she'd let him into the house to collect the rest of his belongings at the start of June when it went up for sale. She'd had most of her stuff already shipped out and just had a case sitting in the hall. Their conversation had been brief before she left him alone with the estate agent selling the house who had arrived to take the pictures and lock up after him.

Nodding in dismissal to Judith he waved at Mary to come in.

'Got to go. Love you.' He winced as Mary gave him a curious look as she sat down and he realised what he'd said.

‘Love you too.’ Was the distracted murmur from his mobile just as he cut the connection and he stared down at the screen until Mary spoke.

'Duncan?' She was leaning forward in her chair and frowning at him.

'Sorry Mary. What brings you here? I thought you'd settled in Dundee.' He set the mobile on the desk watching as the screen went black. With any luck Jimmy was distracted enough he hadn't noticed the last exchange

'Have you got a minute?'

'Just catching up on paperwork, nothing that won't keep for an hour. Why?'

'We need to talk. About the divorce.'

* * *

‘Love you too.’ Jimmy replied absently as he re-read the witness statements taken from the public hall on Housay.

‘Sir?’

He looked up to see both Tosh and Billy looking at him in confusion.

‘Yeah?’

‘I thought you were calling Duncan about the table for Amber's night out?’

‘I was. He can fit us in upstairs on Thursday.’

‘Oh uh.’ Tosh looked over at Billy who shrugged at her ‘Then.... congratulations…?’

‘For what?’

‘You said…' She trailed off then shook her head in dismissal. 'Actually it's nothing, forget I said anything. I probably just misheard you.'

'Right. This is the fourth time in a year these two have had the same fight and no one ever sees who starts it. To cap it off neither of them even live on the Skerries.’ Jimmy broke off to stifle another yawn. ‘Billy charge then both with a disorderly and let the fiscals sort it out.’

‘Aye Boss.’

Jimmy pushed himself to his feet with a groan. ‘I'm going home to get a few hours sleep then I'll be back to finish up the paperwork when I can manage to think straight.’

‘Aye the old Skerries Station house isn’t really set up for overnights unless you’re in the cells.' Billy agreed.

‘They were both occupied. Tosh, call me if you need anything.’ He pulled his coat on as he spoke.

‘Yes sir.' She confirmed.

Leaving the office he heard her asking Billy. 'I didn't imagine that did I?'

'Not unless I did too. It might put a bit of a hitch in our departing constable's plans.'

The door closing cut off anything Tosh may have said in reply and he frowned then dismissed it. Whatever it was he'd deal with it after he managed to get himself home in one piece and had some sleep that didn't involve an off balance office chair or the front seat of his car.

  


Jimmy blinked awake, overly warm and with a confusing tangle of thoughts running through his head. Sleeping in the afternoon always threw him off balance and led to ridiculous dreams. Pushing himself upright Jimmy saw his phone screen blink off cluing him in to what woke him.

Picking it up he saw he had less than half an hour before the alarm went off so he cancelled it and thumbed open the message from Cassie saying she was headed out to meet Alan and she'd call him later.

He'd managed to sleep through an earlier one announcing that she'd arrived in Glasgow.

Typing out a quick reply he dropped the phone on the pillow and made for the bathroom in the hope that a shower and shave would help clear his head.

The shower dispelled some of the fuzziness in his brain and chased away the echoes of dreams where he'd been dealing with far too many cruise ships coming into the harbour and they kept running into each other and sinking if he didn't get they docked fast enough. At least he could cheerfully blame it on Duncan's mention of shipwrecks earlier.

Something else was niggling him about the conversation though. Something Duncan had said just before he hung up.

Opening up the wall cabinet he lifted out his razor and shaving foam then slammed the mirror door closed as Duncan last words finally filtered through his consciousness. Duncan’s words and his response.

'Shite.'

Leaning his forehead against the cool glass Jimmy refused to examine the emotions raised by the memory too closely, he’d been distracted, replying on rote and Duncan had sounded distracted too. It wasn’t the first time Duncan had responded on auto-pilot though at least this time hadn’t ended in Jimmy being referred to as Mary.

* * *

Duncan let himself into the quiet house balancing a pair of foil wrapped plates in one hand while tucking his keys back into his pocket then kicked the door closed and leaned back against it for a moment.

'You alright?'

Opening his eyes he found Jimmy frowning at him from the living room doorway, coat in hand. So much for just nipping in before he got home.

'Oh, you’re here.’

‘Well I do live here.’

‘Just wasnae expecting you here at this time of day.’ Duncan eyed the coat suspiciously. ‘You coming in or heading out?'

'Out. I was back for a sleep then heading back for a few hours to finish last night's paperwork. You need anything?'

'Nah. I was just dropping this off so you'd have something for dinner later.’ Duncan hefted the dishes in his hand.

He'd started to bring home dishes from the bistro before it officially opened when they'd trialled the menu so the staff knew what the dishes were and could make honest recommendations. The habit had continued a few times each week during the summer when Cassie was home and he had moved out to the studio flat above the bistro, both as an excuse to spend more time with the two Perez’s and so there would at least be something more varied than pasta or stir-fry on a regular basis.

'You do know you’re not actually responsible for feeding me?'

'Aye well, there's worse habits to fall into.' Duncan shrugged holding out the plates for Jimmy to take then followed him into the kitchen as he put them in the fridge. A rustle of the tinfoil indicating Jimmy was being nosey as to what was on offer. Knowing he’d enjoyed the lamb casserole and lemon meringue before meant Duncan didn’t think either warranted the frown Jimmy leveled at him as he closed the fridge.

'You not staying?'

'I have to get back to the bar. Iain’s youngest has suspected measles so he won’t be in for the next few days and we need the cover.’

Jimmy continued to stare at him in silence clearly not happy with that explanation.

Duncan sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. ‘I wasn't sure you'd still want me staying here.'

'Unless you've had a better offer you’re always welcome. Thought I’d made that clear.'

'No, no offer… just...' Duncan trailed off unsure if he should bring up the earlier conversation if Jimmy didn’t remember it.

'Is this because of the phone call earlier?'

'Mebbe?'

Jimmy smirked at him. ‘What or who had you distracted enough to declare your feelings for me? Should I start worrying about answering to other names?’

‘Ha bloody ha.' He leaned back against the door frame. 'Mary dropped into the bistro. Wanted to discuss a few things.’

'She having second thoughts?'

'No, no second thoughts. She spoke to her solicitor again. Apparently he's advised her to think about whether she'd rather try for part of the business and drag it out or go for a more peaceable option. While the house is in her name I do have a case that if I prove I was an equal contributor to the household I can still claim half of the sale. If we agree the house is hers alone and all the business mine then there's no financial ties or property to sort. With no family either then we could go the simplified divorce route and only need one years separation rather than two.'

'And how'd you feel about that?'

Duncan thought about it for a minute. 'Confused?'

'You asking me or telling me?'

'Both?' He gave an unamused laugh. 'It's strange. When I saw her there asking to talk about the divorce I did worry she'd changed her mind but... She looked happy Jimmy, happier than I've seen her in a long time.’

‘And you’re OK with that?’

‘She deserves to be happy.’

‘But you still love her?’

‘No. Well not properly, not for a while. Our marriage was over years ago we just never admitted it, to ourselves or each other. It was almost a relief when she left even if it did blindside me.’

‘Hence the not asking who she’d left you for?’ Jimmy was watching him closely, almost the same way he had at the police station with the Kilmuir investigation when he’d recognised the evasions and half truths for what they were.

‘That was a fairly large clue yes. It just didn’t matter.’ He checked his watch wanting to leave before Jimmy pressed any harder. ‘I’d better get back before the dinner rush starts.’

Pulling the front door open he wasn’t surprised when he heard Jimmy said from the kitchen door.

‘So when you said “love you” you didn’t mean Mary, or anyone else?’

‘You think it’s that unlikely that I care about you?’ He couldn’t help the hurt that crept into his voice.

'No. No, I don’t think that. We've had a complicated relationship for years but we're friends, family even despite the way you twitch at the idea. Of course we care about each other it's natural.'

'Of course.' Duncan echoed as he rested his forehead on the edge of the door and sighed. Not turning to look back, he added. ‘Look, I’ll probably stay the night in the flat so you don’t have to worry about me blundering in late. We can talk some other time.’

He left the house, pulling the door closed behind him then jogged up the steps thoughts and stomach churning. Never talking about it would be his preferred option but he knew Jimmy wouldn't drop it even if he wouldn't like the answers he'd get.


	2. Tuesday

The afternoon nap yesterday had apparently chucked his ability to get a good night's sleep in the tide Jimmy decided as he stifled his third yawn in as many minutes as he waited in the Coffee Dock queue for something stronger than the instant coffee available back in the office. 

He was getting too old for all nighters if it was going to be impossible to bounce back with a quick nap. He’d lain awake half the night listening to the house settle around him, several times he’d catch himself listening for movement in the other bedroom despite knowing that Cassie was in Glasgow and Duncan was staying in the tiny bedsit above the bistro.

Despite his initial protests months ago now that they weren't housemates and that it was all temporary until Cassie came back for the summer it had been comfortable and easy, so much so it had seemed odd to swap Duncan for Cassie during the summer. He'd been used to it being just him in the house since Cassie went to university but he'd not found it strange at all to have Duncan being around pretty much full time and now the house seemed emptier than it ever had.

When Duncan had moved out to let Cassie have her room for the summer the plan had been for him to move back in on her return to Glasgow, Duncan's sudden reluctance worried him.

His reply to Duncan on the phone had been automatic but no less the truth and what he’d said last night had been the truth, their overlapping lives kept them together in ways he’d never have thought possible. If someone had told him when he moved back to Shetland that Duncan would become his closest friend again he’d have laughed. 

Still, something about the exchange was bothering the other man and that was bothering Jimmy in return.

‘Here you go.’ The sullen teenager behind the counter barely glanced up at him as she held his cup out for him to take.

‘Thanks.’ He'd barely turned away from the counter when his phone rang. By the time he'd set the mug down then fished his mobile out of his pocket it had stopped ringing. A quick tap on the screen brought up the call log and the he had time to register the missed call as from Tosh before it rang again with her name flashing up.

'Tosh?'

'There's been a break in at Sandness. It's not the first time but they didn't want to bother us the previous time as they couldn't see anything missing.'

'You taking Amber?'

'No. Billy and Rhona have her at her desk filling in every bit of paperwork she may have missed over the past three months before she makes her bid for freedom back south.’

'I can come with. I'm on my way back from the Dock.'

'I'll pick you up at the end of Hillhead cause no offence but unless they injected the caffeine I’m driving. We've been watching you yawn your head off all day and I don’t think mixing sleep deprivation with this storm coming is a good idea.'

He rolled his eyes, 'Fine.’

  


The trip west to Sandness had been slow and the still darkening clouds didn’t promise an easier return. Tosh had given him a quick rundown of the complaint before turning her full attention on the road with the start of the rain and letting him mull over his thoughts. Despite the size of his coffee he’d finished it before they’d made it halfway leaving him with no distractions but his own thoughts.

Jimmy clenched his jaw against another yawn but his attempt to stifle it was clearly noticed when Tosh asked.

'You still awake there?'

'Just didn't sleep well,' Jimmy muttered not willing to admit to anything else distracting him.

'I hate that. It's not natural trying to sleep in the middle of the day and it throws you out for the next night too. It's bad enough we get weeks up here when the sun point blank refuses to set without us having to try and catch up on sleep at the wrong times too.'

'I don't think we'll have to worry about the sun tonight.' 

'No.' She agreed and flicked the wipers on faster to clear the windscreen. 'Donnie's back for a few days this weekend.'

'Oh God.' He stared across the car in horror. As fond as he was of Tosh, she wasn't his daughter and he didn't need or want to be kept up to date on her relationships. Unless she got hurt then, like with Drew, he reserved the right to give a right bollocking to anyone who deserved it.

'What?’ Tosh protested. ‘I can't turn up at a crime scene with you snoring and dribbling into your coat. So I have to talk about something. The weathers shite and only going to get worse so that's out. We could talk about you?' 

Jimmy pulled himself upright in the passenger seat in an attempt to wake himself up and ignored the expectant look she shot him. The last thing he wanted to do talk about himself. 

The relationship with Donnie had been good for Tosh after the disaster of her previous engagement to Drew and the trauma of her rape. From what he'd seen Donnie openly adored her and while Tosh was less obvious she always perked up when he was due back and was quieter when he left.

'How's his job in Aberdeen going?'

'Good. There's rumours that they'll be taking on some of the agency workers permanently.' 

There was a hesitant tone to her voice.

‘And?’ He pressed.

'And then we'll see what happens. We've been lucky, as agency he gets weekends and can come up here. He's still staying with friends. It's not great but he gets on the ferry on Friday night and off Monday morning and straight into work so it works for now. If he's made permanent…'

She trailed off and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel in silence for a minute.

'Tosh?'

'If he's offered a permanent job then we'll have to rethink things. He'll need somewhere proper to stay so weekly ferry trips may be out. With Sandy back I could take a few days now and then but...' She sighed. 'I miss him when he's not here. It's not just my flat is too quiet, the walls are too thin for it to ever be quiet but it's like there's a Donnie shaped hole that can’t be filled until he comes back.’

'I can understand that.' 

'Shit, of course you can. Sorry. At least he can and does come back.'

'Hmm.' Jimmy agreed non-committedly knowing that Tosh was thinking of Fran. 

He closed his eyes for a moment. There would always be a Fran shaped hole in his world but more recently there was a Duncan shaped one too, like when he'd found himself disappointed that it was just him and Cassie for dinner or when he'd gone for a weekend with her to Fair Isle to see his parents. That was new, and Jimmy didn’t know what to make of it. Had Duncan heard something in his reply that worried him?

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to...’ Tosh apologized again. 

‘It’s fine,’ He interrupted as he opened his eyes and caught sight of a flash of blue light off to the left. ‘I think this is our turn coming up.’

‘Yeah.’ Tosh agreed as she leaned forward to peer through the rain and make out the marked patrol car sitting in a farmyard, it’s emergency lights flashing. 

* * *

The sound of the front door closing woke Duncan from where he was slumped awkwardly on the couch.

‘Ow.’ He clutched at his neck, straightened up and turned to see Jimmy standing in the kitchen door.

'Jesus man. Use the bed.' Jimmy gave him a look of fond exasperation so he assumed yesterday's awkward conversation had been forgotten. For now at least.

'I had planned to, I just sat down for five minutes with a cuppa.' He eyed the still full cup on the table in front of him, it's contents long gone cold. 'What time is it?'

'Nearly one.'

'You just back?' Duncan eased his legs off the couch, groaning as pins and needles started in them. 

'Aye took over three hours to get back from Sandness.'

‘Not the best night to be on those roads.’

'No.' Jimmy sank down in the space Duncan's legs had vacated and leaned his head against the back of the couch.

'If you're not careful you'll be doing the same as me.' Duncan teased seeing Jimmy's eyes droop. 

'I'm getting too old to do long days in a row.'

'Me too. It's been about 30 years since I had to do regular late shifts behind a bar and I never had to do it along with morning opening.'

'You're doing all day?'

'All 14 miserable hours of it and yet I still made it home before you. Staffing's a bit stretched what with the students going back, the last few cruise ships of the season due in and my back up barman is also back up crew for his family trawler and not due into port until next Monday.'

'You could have stayed at the flat.'

He'd considered that but then Jimmy had gone out of his way yesterday to point out he was welcome to stay at the house.

'Ach well, you'd miss me then.' He teased.

'I would.' 

The quiet admission caught Duncan's attention and he stared at the side of Jimmy's head as the other man apparently focused on thin air. For a brief moment he wondered if he wasn't the only one confused about the relationship between them before dismissing it. The two of them were permanently linked via Cassie which was more than he could have hoped for in the past.

‘Did you ever wish you’d had more children?’ Duncan asked.

'What brought that up?' Jimmy turned his head against the couch just enough to look at him 

‘Other than you suddenly thinking I'm good company? Cassie called. She’s met up with Alan and apparently they got on to the subject of family history and the fact that there’s a whole side they basically don’t know about.’

‘Ahh. And I'm not suddenly thinking that.'

Duncan ignored Jimmy's muttered objection. ‘I told her I’d talk to her when I next see her.’

'And will you?'

The question was valid. Duncan had never told Cassie any details of his family beyond the odd mention, almost incidental to whatever he was talking about at the time and she'd never asked anything further. Jimmy had though. He could remember a night when Cassie was eight that Jimmy called to ask him details for a family history project she was supposed to do.

He'd been relieved when he realised there wasn't anything wrong until Jimmy had mentioned why he was calling. They'd spent enough time together as teenagers to know most of each others small families but while Duncan could name Jimmy's grandparents and two cousins Jimmy had managed only the names of the three people he'd met.

It had taken Duncan a minute to finally force out the words to tell Jimmy to just use his own family. Cassie was already using the name Perez and calling him dad so why bother confusing the situation. He'd hung up then ignoring Jimmy's protests and gone to find the nearest drink and let the answerphone deal with it when Jimmy’d tried calling back.

'I'll tell her what I can but I don't know all that much,' he shrugged, 'When mum and I moved here it was just us and her aunt Eilidh. They never said much, I never asked and then there was no-one left to ask.'

They sat in silence long enough for Duncan to assume Jimmy had forgotten his original question. 

'C'mon bed.' He struggled to his feet and picked up his cold forgotten tea heading to the kitchen to dispose of it. 'If we both fall asleep down here neither of us will be able to move in the morning.'

‘Fran and I, we had talked about kids then put it off for reasons that were important at the time.’ Jimmy sat forward and scrubbed his hands over his face. ’We stopped putting it off but it didn’t happen. Then for a few weeks we thought Fran was pregnant. We’d had a couple of false alarms previously so this time she didn’t rush to get tested, said she’d wait a while and see. The doctors disabused us of that notion fairly quickly.’

Duncan closed his eyes at the old pain audible in the words. ‘Jimmy….’

‘It’s fine.’

‘No it’s not.’ 

‘What about you? I remember you and Mary had baby plans.’

‘Mary and I had talked about it while her baby niece stayed with us then she seemed to change her mind, probably for the best in the long run. To be honest I’d never given thought about having a family, never wanted one. Alan you know wasn’t planned and I was relieved when he seemed to be Kevin’s. Not just because it would have hurt Fran. Cassie wasn’t planned either and I… didn’t react well. Fran told me we could make it work and we held it together for a while. Then... well you know what happened. I walked out and almost lost any right to know my daughter.' 

'See I never got why you did that.' Jimmy had turned and was watching him over the back of the couch in the dim lamp light. In times past there would have been a hint of angry challenge in that sentence, this time there was no recrimination just a statement of fact.

'No you wouldn't, your family actually was one.' 

'I know you had a difficult relationship with your mum...'

Duncan snorted. 'Mum. Her husband Peter. His parade of other women that was so blatant that you couldn't even describe them as being a bit on the side. Nothing in that mess was a great example of family dynamics.’

Jimmy got up and came around the couch to the breakfast bar and frowned at him.

'If you felt like that..?'

'Why'd I basically end up repeating it? Trust me there are worse learned behaviours.’ 

Duncan stopped before he said anything else, Jimmy was staring at him in confusion but Duncan didn't actually want that to change, some things should just be left in the past.

'Look,’ Duncan finally offered just to break the silence. ‘I barely understand it either but essentially I panicked, decided Cassie was better off without me as her father and as it turned out I was right. You did a better job with her than I could ever have.'

'Duncan?' Jimmy was still watching him, blue-grey eyes worried.

'Jimmy, it's late. I’m tired and we both have work first thing. I guarantee you don't want to know my whole sordid past and nothing can be done to change things now.'

'Right. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Jimmy gave him a last searching look before heading for the stairs. 

It left Duncan with time to finish rinsing his cup and lean against the bench waiting for the sound of Jimmy’s bedroom door closing before going up himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: re: Duncan/Mary baby mention: There is definitely a baby with Mary and Duncan in the pilot/Red Bones episodes. Not only does Duncan ask Jimmy how Cassie feels about him and Mary having a baby which could be interpreted as either having happened or planned to happen but when Jimmy drops her off you can see Duncan lifting a car seat out and talking to the contents about Cassie (look who's here!). Since then baby's existence has been erased but not edited from the first episodes which means when you watch them all in a short space of time and you're me you wonder about what happened to baby so it's now Mary's sisters wean and they were only talking about having one.


	3. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and editing on a phone is a pain so lemme know any problems and I'll try to fix them when back online.

  
For the second day in a row Jimmy found himself standing in the Coffee Dock on the way back from lunch. The same sullen girl as yesterday was sat behind the register eyeing him as he spooned sugar into his reusable cup at the milk station by the end of the counter.   
  
He'd managed a few hours of sleep before his alarm but they hadn't been good, in part due to the discussion with Duncan. Once awake Duncan had been his normal self, willing to take the piss out of Jimmy and no sign of any discomfort from the previous day. Until he'd brought up the subject of their families. It wasn’t a subject they covered much over the years. He could remember being envious the first time his mum had agreed to him spending the weekend with Duncan at the big house on the shore at Sound. The space and freedom allowed there had been a huge difference in comparison to the small croft Jimmy was used to where more than five minutes to yourself was almost impossible. They’d had a pizza delivered, ate it sitting on the floor watching TV and had only seen Duncan's mum Angela twice between her picking them up and dropping them back to school and Jimmy hadn’t met Peter at all until his third visit. His immediate reaction to some of Duncan's cryptic comments was to want to press for more detail but Duncan had made it clear that he wasn’t willing to discuss certain things so he’d just have to wait and see what came up when Cassie tried to broach the subject.   
  
Making his way towards the door he sidestepped to avoid it when it lurched inwards to admit Mary Hunter.  
  
‘Oh sorry Jimmy. I didn't hit you there?’   
  
‘Mary. No you missed me.’ He gave her a smile.  
  
‘Good. I’d offer to buy you a coffee but…’  
  
‘I’m well supplied thanks.’ He raised his cup in acknowledgment.  
  
‘So I see.’ She bit her lip and looked about her at the empty tables.  
  
‘Have you got a minute Jimmy?’  
  
‘Aye.’  
  
Some of his wariness must have shown in his face as she smiled again.  
  
‘It’s nothing bad.’  
  
‘Do you want a drink?’ He offered.  
  
‘I’ll get it. You pick a table.’  
  
Taking a seat at a nearby table Jimmy watched as Mary spoke to the girls behind the counter and pointed back to where he sat. Duncan was right, she did look happy. The girl nodded and Mary handed over the money before coming to join him at the table.  
  
‘They’ll bring it over. I don’t want to keep you if you’re busy.’  
  
‘All quiet at the moment, just a couple of late nights and old age catching up.’  
  
‘Good.’ She laughed ‘Well not good about the age but good it’s quiet. That cup looks like a serious amount of caffeine.’   
  
‘Birthday present from Cassie so I stop helping destroy the planet the few times a year I actually buy a coffee out. There’s probably a similar one in Duncan’s near future.’  
  
‘How is she?’  
  
‘She’s well. Just gone back to Glasgow, she’ll be sorry she missed you.’  
  
‘That’s good.’  
  
‘Caramel macchiato?’ Her coffee arrived at the table and the server looked between them with more interest than she’d managed earlier.  
  
‘Here thanks.’ Mary moved her handbag down on to the floor to leave more space on the table top.  
  
‘Anything else?’  
  
‘We’re fine.’  
  
The server moved away and Mary stirred her coffee, staring down at the whipped cream topping.  
  
‘Mary?’ Jimmy prompted.  
  
‘It’s about Duncan.’  
  
He offered her a wry smile. ‘I rather assumed that.’  
  
‘I’m not going to ask you to betray any confidences. This new woman of his...’  
  
Jimmy frowned in surprise. ‘I wasn’t aware he had one.’  
  
‘No? Well it’s not as though he’s never kept secrets before.’ Mary’s bitterness was clear. ‘Just… I assumed if he spoke to anyone it would be you. You’re the closest he has to a friend.’  
  
‘Duncan’s got lots of friends.’  
  
‘That’s what I used to think too, but not really. He’s got his poker mates, and some business buddies, but those change regularly and any get togethers are always planned in advance. You? He’d just drop in on for a chat.’  
  
It echoed something Fran had said about Duncan when they started talking about moving back to Shetland and the prospect of dealing with him on a more regular basis loomed. “Duncan likes people. He likes people to like him but he doesn’t like to let people in. I married him but I’m not sure I ever knew him. Not properly." He’d dismissed it at the time because Duncan wasn’t high on his list of priorities then, but looking back there was some truth in it. Plenty of people would describe Duncan as one of their friends but every time something went wrong or he needed a place to stay it was his door Duncan knocked.  
  
‘Cassie...’   
  
'No,' Mary was shaking her head before he’d even finished saying her name. ‘Well yes, but if it was just that then all those nights sitting out in your yard would have been a lot shorter. There was one time before Cassie went to university that I thought our marriage was finally over. Duncan flirts with anyone, I’m not sure he knows how not to, and there had been the odd one night thing when the flirting went too far.’  
  
Jimmy shifted uncomfortably not sure where this was headed and sipped at his coffee as he waited for her to gather her thoughts and finish.  
  
‘I’m not sure he knew that I knew but he always came home to me and they were forgotten as quickly as they appeared but then things changed. He wasn’t out all night but he often came back late, cancelled dinner and texted me last minute changes in plans. I thought it was a long term affair, that maybe he’d found someone he wanted to spend more time with. I asked him, he denied it and started spending more time at home again for a week or so before it started to slip again. I was hurt and I thought it would serve him right if I had an affair too. I thought about how best to hurt him properly and the only one I could think of was you. So I got in the car and drove down to the Lodberries.’  
  
‘Mary…’ He interrupted, part of him going cold at the idea, even if it never happened and was long past.  
  
She looked up at him and smiled. ‘You wouldn’t have, I know. You’d have been nice and kind, and I’d have ended up crying on your shoulder before you took me home.'  
  
Jimmy tried to think when it could have been. Mary had rarely been to his house and never without Duncan.  
  
‘When I reached the front door I realised I’d made a mistake and that you weren’t alone. I stood there for a while listening to Duncan and you sitting in the yard just talking about everything and nothing. I left before either of you could find me. I just sat in the car and watched as Cassie got dropped off then I drove home. The next time he texted he’d be late I came down again and he was there. And the next time too.’  
  
That could describe any number of evenings over the years.  
  
‘I’m not sure what you want me to say.’  
  
‘I don’t want you to say anything. I’m just saying, you’re better friends than you realise and maybe Duncan’s only real one. I don't even know why I want to know who she is I don't love him anymore but... Maybe I'm a bit jealous. What does she have that I didn't?'  
  
Jimmy decided that pointing out she was the one to finally bring the marriage to an end would be a bit tactless. If Duncan had met someone then maybe that was why Duncan was reluctant to move back into the house. The flat, tiny as it was, gave him privacy, something that moving in with your ex-wife's widower didn’t.  
  
‘Did Duncan tell you he’d met someone?’  
  
‘No. He was on the phone when I went to see him and it was obvious. He was happy and relaxed then got flustered when he saw me, as though he'd been caught out. He even said he loved her, though he did look rather panicked when he realised he had done it. Duncan doesn’t… Do you know how rarely he actually said it? Pet names and such all the time, but actually saying "love you" casually like that and meaning it. To someone other than Cassie? That’s something I’ve never seen.’  
  
Jimmy’s breath caught in his throat, he did know who’d been at the other end of that declaration. He took a mouthful of his still too hot coffee to cover any surprise in his expression.  
  
‘No. He hasn’t said anything to me.’ He managed to force out once he’d swallowed it.  
  
That was, basically, true and Mary didn’t seem to notice any evasion in his answer as she sipped at her own coffee then offered him a tired smile.  
  
‘You’ll find out when the next Mrs Hunter is announced then. I doubt I’ll get an invite.’  
  
‘Would you want one?’  
  
‘Not really. Stephen didn’t want me to come up but I had to prove to myself that I’m over him. There's nothing between us anymore, it’s time to move on.’  
  
‘Good for you.’  
  
‘And speaking of moving I’d better head back and get my stuff or I’ll miss my flight.’ She gave him a quick smile as she picked up her bag.  
  
‘Safe home Mary.' He managed before sitting back in his seat trying to sort out his thoughts.  
  
Mary’s certainty that Duncan had a new relationship and that it was important to him was absolute. Duncan had agreed with his comment the other night that it was natural they cared for each other but he hadn’t met Jimmy's eyes and he hadn't lost the tension in his shoulders. It had been true, but not the whole story, he was trying to avoid admitting something. The last time he’d seen that reaction was when Duncan had nearly been charged with Lizzie Kilmuir’s murder and trying to avoid admitting his affair with Donna.  
  
He’d never believed Duncan could have murdered either Lizzie or Sally McColl but Malone had been convicted on evidence that carried less weight and that thought had terrified him even while he’d been angry about the lies.   
  
Before now he'd have plied Duncan with a few drinks to get him to talk, which previously had the downside of Duncan's greater tolerance to alcohol to tend with, but since waking up in the sand at Spiggie beach Duncan had carefully kept to a single drink at a time and only when it would be noticed if he didn't accept. He’d done it carefully enough that Cassie apparently hadn’t noticed anything over the summer.  
  
Getting Duncan to admit something he didn’t want to would take careful maneuvering but first Jimmy needed to work out his own thoughts and feelings. At least he would have the house to himself this evening.  


* * *

  
Duncan glanced up from the computer screen, where he'd been going back through old accounts, when he heard the front door close to see Jimmy come into the kitchen and stare at him in confusion.  
  
'What?' Duncan tried to think if there was anything he should have done, or anything he shouldn't have done.  
  
'I thought you'd still be out at the bistro.'   
  
'I got a reprieve once the early dinner rush was through. Ken McDowell's trawler came back in early so he's behind the bar tonight. I can leave if you want the house to yourself?'  
  
'No. Just need to talk to you but haven't got it quite worked out in my head yet.' Jimmy disappeared into the cloak room to hang his coat up.  
  
Considering the conversations of the past few days and that he knew Jimmy wouldn't let things go Duncan felt a degree of panic. He didn't want to revisit either conversation but wasn't sure he'd get that option, not if Jimmy thought it was important. Closing the laptop screen he pressed his hands flat on the warm surface.  
  
'That doesn't sound good.' He tried for an unconcerned tone but by the expression on Jimmy's face as he came back into the room he'd missed by some distance.  
  
‘I ran into Mary earlier at the Coffee Dock.’ Jimmy sat in the seat at the other end of the table.  
  
‘Oh aye, frequenting the opposition are you?'  
  
'You don't do takeaway coffees.' Jimmy fixed him with a look. 'Her flight south was this afternoon. She said something that got me thinking though.'  
  
A brief flash of panic flared but he swallowed it down with feigned calmness. 'Do I want to know?’  
  
'She wanted to know who the new woman was that had you so happy.'  
  
That was not what Duncan was expecting to hear.  
  
'What new woman?'  
  
'That's what I said. She overheard you on the phone and reckoned you’d have told me or if not, I’d find out eventually.’  
  
‘Why…’ Duncan trailed off remembering when Mary had come into the office.  
  
‘But see, I already know who you were talking to and it wasnae a woman.’ Jimmy continued. ‘Then she said why she thought it would result in Mrs Hunter number three.’  
  
Duncan felt cold, panic settling in his stomach and looked away from Jimmy's searching gaze towards the windows at the other side of the room.  
  
‘We’ve already discussed this. I was distracted. Old habits etc.'  
  
‘We did, and when I said we were friends and friends do love each other you agreed but that wasn’t how you meant it though. Not when you said it on the phone. That’s why you wouldn't look at me when you agreed.’  
  
‘Jimmy don’t...’ Duncan sighed.  
  
‘Don’t what?’  
  
The bland measured tone told Duncan there wasn't any point in denying it, not when Jimmy could spot his lies and half truths.  
  
‘Fine. No it wasnae how I meant it. I love you. Does it matter? I'm not going to molest you in your sleep. It doesn't have to change anything.'  
  
'How does it not change things?’   
  
'It hasn't up till now.' Duncan glanced towards the other end of the table to see Jimmy staring back at him in confusion then take a deep breath to ask.   
  
'How long have you felt that way?'  
  
'Ach Jimmy. Did no-one ever tell you to not ask questions you don't want to know the answers to?'  
  
'Might make my job a wee bit difficult.'  
  
Duncan closed his eyes in pained frustration.  
  
'This isn't your job Jimmy.'  
  
‘No it’s not.’ Jimmy agreed mildly. 'It's important though.'  
  
'I don't know.' Duncan scraped a hand through his thinning hair. 'I do know when I realized it.'  
  
'That'll do.'  
  
'When Cassie left for Brazil.'  
  
Opening his eyes he found Jimmy staring at him in shock.  
  
‘Duncan, that was over two years ago. You... you went back to Mary when Cassie left.'  
  
Duncan looked away again not wanting to see what Jimmy's reaction would be when the surprise wore off.  
  
'Jesus man, would you ever have said anything?'  
  
'No.’ Duncan snapped. ‘Because that risked losing my daughter and best friend. It was safer to walk away and just carry on as normal.’  
  
'Walk away?'  
  
'I'd realised I wanted to stay here with you, so I had to go. If I'd stayed you mighta realised and I didnae want you to hate me.’  
  
Jimmy opened his mouth to object but Duncan pressed on.   
  
‘I know you’re a good man, and that you’ve known for years that I’ve occasionally played both sides, but there’s still a difference to knowing that and being told I was attracted to you. Most people don’t react well to getting that sprung on them. Even if you didn’t refuse to speak to me things would have changed between us.’ Duncan shrugged. 'Look it wasn't the best idea and it was horribly unfair to Mary but I didn't know what else to do.'  
  
'Mebbe talk to me?'  
  
It was Duncan's turn to stare at Jimmy as he gave a mirthless laugh. 'Oh aye? That would have gone down well, "We’ll miss our daughter and I know half the time you can't stand me but fancy a shag?" Just how do you picture that going Jimmy?'  
  
Jimmy flushed slightly then shook his head in dismissal, but whether it was at the blunt wording or the question itself Duncan couldn't tell.  
  
'That's not all you want though. If it was we wouldn't be having this conversation now.'  
  
'No. But then we're back to you being straight and having a... A much less flexible view of relationships. I was married and you'd met Asha so you’d never have even considered it. So it was safe.'  
  
'So you just ignored it?’'  
  
'What else was there?’ Duncan met Jimmy’s incredulous expression before slumping down in the dining chair. ‘Look give me ten minutes to pack and I'll be out of your hair.' Duncan closed the lid of the laptop down.  
  
A look of confusion crossed Jimmy’s face. ‘I don’t want you to leave.’  
  
It was said slowly, more measured than a simple knee jerk response.   
  
‘Right.’ Duncan said flatly and stared at him for a minute. ‘What do you want then Jimmy? Cos I’m drawing a blank here.’  
  
'I just needed to know what...' Jimmy's phone rang cutting him off and he grimaced as he looked at the screen then answered it. 'Perez.'  
  
The room was quiet enough that Duncan could make out Billy McCabe apologising for the call even as he looked down and drummed his fingers on the lid of his laptop and debated going upstairs to repack the few things he’d actually got unpacked yesterday.  
  
'Sorry boss we've had a call in from Baltasound. They've got a body and they want a detective on the scene.'  
  
'I'm a bit busy at the moment. Can’t the station at Brae take it? They’re closer.' The frustration in Jimmy’s tone made Duncan raise his head in surprise to watch him.  
  
'DI McNinch was in Inverness for court and DS Boyle is in the hospital having broken her ankle last night.'  
  
'Great. What about Tosh?'  
  
'Tosh went back over to Sandness and Amber…'  
  
'Is only a DC and can’t start a case as she's leaving in less than two days. Fine.'  
  
'You should make the last ferry to Yell easily enough but I'll call ahead and make sure the ferry at Gutcher waits for you.'  
  
'Thanks Billy.' Jimmy hung up the phone and as he turned back towards him Duncan dropped his eyes back to the table.   
  
'You'd better go. Can't keep the ferry waiting too long.'   
  
'Duncan…' Jimmy trailed off waiting until Duncan looked at him before. 'Just... Don't leave. Please?'  
  
'I'll see you at the Grifòn tomorrow night.' Duncan allowed watching as Jimmy got up from the table, grabbed his coat and left.   
  
He could give Jimmy time to decide what he wanted to do with the knowledge. Best case scenario, Jimmy would decide to ignore it and he'd still have his friendship even if he had to move into the flat permanently.   
  
If not a call to Graham Benson in Glasgow was still an option even if the business was no longer in trouble thanks to double dealing former accountants.  



	4. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay it's been a hell of a month, this chapter spiralled and 2 stubborn Scots were being uncooperative....  
The good news is we're in the home straight for this one but if Chapter 5 takes another 6 weeks I will not be happy.  


It was nearly half seven by the time Jimmy turned the Volvo into its usual space and he was relieved to see Duncan's car still sitting two spaces away as he clambered out of the car and stretched.

It had been a long and rather boring outing to Unst where some kids had broken in to a long disused warehouse for a dare then panicked when they found a skeletonized body. By the time he’d got there all they could do was assess the scene and the long deceased remains then secure it until the mainland forensics team arrived in the morning.

He'd handed the scene over to the Brae station when DI Mark McNinch arrived back from Inverness that afternoon and agreed that, unless the pathologist said differently, considering the needles the forensics team found in the sleeping bag it looked like it would be an old missing persons case closed and another heroin death statistic.

He could have done without the leaving do tonight but he’d promised he’d show his face which meant he needed to shower and change before heading into town.

Letting himself into the house he found it silent and empty, Duncan either out or had left despite Jimmy's request for him to stay, but then Duncan hadn't actually promised him anything more certain than that he'd see him at the bistro.

Going upstairs he dumped his clothes in the washing basket and took a quick but through shower to remove the grime and smells that pervaded abandoned buildings before heading into his room to change.

While he’d been frustrated at being called out yet again it had given him time to sort through what Duncan had said and how he felt about it during the long trip north to the crime scene and then later in the little B&B where he’d been able to get a few hours sleep. 

In the nearly forty years since they met at Anderson High Duncan and he had played many roles in relation to each other; from friends, to rivals, to reluctantly tolerating each other, to sharing a house.

Best friends throughout high school they'd had falling out at the end of school then lost contact with each other as they moved on with their adult lives. Jimmy’d gone back home to Fair Isle before leaving as part of the autumn intake for the police college in Kincardine and Duncan had been set with a job with his step father's business.

Then over a decade later when Jimmy came back to Shetland, on a year long temporary posting and after he'd started to see Fran, they'd had an awkward reunion both uncertain of how to interact. It would have been easy for Jimmy to resent Duncan, he was the ex husband of the woman Jimmy had fallen in love with and thus, while not a threat to the relationship, he was still a significant person in the lives of both Fran and the three year old Cassie. It was easy then to keep Duncan at arms length, especially after hearing how he'd walked out and abandoned them. At that point Duncan hadn't been on Shetland much, business taking him further afield and just dropping in on them occasionally to delight and spoil Cassie before vanishing again. 

When his temporary post on the island had ended and Fran agreed first to move with him to Glasgow, then to marry him, Duncan had again receded from his life, bar the occasional visit for a few days at a time each year. That was when there was the most active resentment between them, Jimmy got to be the day to day Dad and eventually Cassie took his name but it was always tempered by Duncan being Cassie's actual and legal father so they still had to be civil enough to hold a conversation despite the disruption his visits caused to their ordered lives.

Around the time Cassie was finishing primary school Fran had proposed moving back to Shetland, she was tired of life in the city and Jimmy was stressed and overworked. At that point dealing with Duncan on a regular basis became a looming prospect since he’d already settled back on the island and started his property lets.

The hoped for move was delayed, first by the lack of a position for Jimmy, then Fran's illness and somehow Duncan had become an unexpected supportive presence in Jimmy's life, the person he could talk to when things got too much for him but Cassie, George and Alice needed Jimmy to be strong for them. Duncan had been willing and more than happy to do the on island legwork when Jimmy couldn't leave Glasgow, had found them the house for them and got it done up to Fran's specifications though in the end she wouldn't live to see it.

Without Fran they became awkward co-parents, trying to work past their differences most of the time, and not let Cassie play them off against each other too often. Somewhere along the way it had switched from cooperating together on Cassie to a genuine friendship and affection. 

He loved Duncan, that he'd known for years. You didn't get the sheer frustration and disappointment he'd often felt with Duncan's unthinking actions without caring deeply about him. He’d just never considered what nature than affection took. Their lives were completely intertwined which meant that Duncan’s revelation was going to change things. Even if they left things as they were Jimmy knew Duncan would pull away, maybe not much at first but it could snowball back up to Duncan thinking leaving Shetland would be a valid plan. There was another option, and that’s what Jimmy had needed space to think through. 

He’d never seriously considered a relationship with another man. He'd always known he could appreciate a good looking man as much a good looking woman but it had always been easier to leave it at that. The police force wasn't the most accepting workplace for alternative lifestyles back in the late eighties and early nineties when he was working hard to succeed in his career. By the time he'd made detective and was more secure in his life experimenting seemed more effort than it was worth for the occasional man that caught his eye. 

Then came Fran and any other inclinations were irrelevant, he’d loved her completely and he'd wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. That he’d been denied that option still hurt. 

Opening his wardrobe Jimmy had a brief twinge of regret that he'd allowed it to devolve into a supply of jeans and jumpers more suitable for work and casual wear than a night out. Hunting the shelves he found a pair of black jeans rolled up in the back alongside a leather jacket that he hadn't seen since he'd unpacked when they'd first moved in. Turning he dug through his small chest of drawers until he found the blue dress shirt Cassie had bought him for his birthday then set about making himself presentable.

Dressed and heading back downstairs he paused at the pushed over door of Cassie’s room giving the door a gentle nudge so it swung inward. The room was neat. Cassie kept the few belongings she left on Shetland packed away in the wardrobe so there wouldn’t be too much cleaning to do. There was nothing laying about visible to say Duncan was still using the room so he stepped in to check the hanging rail and relaxed when he saw the shirts and jeans still hanging there. 

Turning to go he paused as his eye caught on a familiar picture frame tucked at the back of Cassie’s dressing table behind a mostly still packed sponge bag. 

The multi-picture frame had sat in the living room of Duncan’s house for years with an array of pictures in it, some changing each time he’d seen it, others staying the same for years. Jimmy had always thought the cluster of images slightly odd as Fran featured in several, though always with Cassie and previously there had always been an attempt at diplomacy with there always being the same number or more pictures of Mary included. Now Mary was conspicuous by her absence.

Moving closer he picked it up to take a better look at the current pictures. The big top picture, it’s colours faded over time, was always present. Taken at Cassie’s baptism, it was quiet possibly one of the few pictures Duncan had of them as an intact family. Beside it was a black and white of Fran and Cassie that Jimmy could remember taking in the park down the road from their flat in Glasgow. Completing the top half of the frame a recent one of Cassie had replaced the old school picture that for years she’d complained bitterly about as it was on display in both houses. 

The main picture on the bottom was Cassie tucked between both of them, Jimmy had used the same one as the background for his phone a couple of years ago until he’d changed it, angry that Duncan’s unthinking exploits had lead him to being tangled up in the Kilmuir murder case. The two to either side of it were new, a casual one of Cassie and himself sat on the couch downstairs and one that someone, probably Cassie, must have taken of him and Duncan laughing together at Hogmanay last year.

* * *

‘And those eyes. Half the time they look sleepy and sad but when he's concentrating on something it's... well imagine having all that intensity focused just on you.'

Duncan couldn't decide whether he felt like laughing or crying as Amber Ross leaned on the bar a fresh glass of wine in her hand and treated him to a tipsy recital of Jimmy's various attributes and how she'd been disappointed on her arrival that he'd fobbed her off with a rule about no relationships at work and about how that wasn't a problem now as she was leaving and despite the age gap she had detailed plans for how she was planning to spend her last night on the island.

The main group from the station had arrived before seven and Billy had come over to tell him that Jimmy should be on his way back from Unst so they'd hold off ordering the food till he arrived. Since then the guest of honour had wandered back and forth between the side room and the bar chatting to various confused customers and the staff before one of the others came to herd her back to the table.

This time it was Tosh who mouth a ‘Sorry’ at him as she steered Amber back to look at the set menu again. Duncan rolled his eyes and eyed up the bottles behind the bar before dismissing the idea of a drink.

'Hey.' 

Jimmy had appeared at the end of the bar dressed in a leather jacket and a dark blue shirt that set off his eyes. Apparently openly acknowledging his attraction to Jimmy was enough to let his brain have permission to start noticing details he'd usually gloss over, not helpful as Cassie would say.

'Hi.' Duncan wandered over to him. 'You managed to get away then?'

'Handed it off. Looks like a missing person finally turning up.' 

'Ah well. It'll maybe give someone closure.' Not the best outcome but at least it wouldn’t be something Jimmy would drive himself into the ground over trying to solve it.

'Aye.' Jimmy fiddled with a beer mat then glanced over his shoulder at the police group at their table before fixing Duncan with a direct stare. 'Duncan can we talk?'

A clatter from the side room was a welcome distraction and they looked over to see Rhona picking something up from the floor while Amber gesticulated with her glass almost clipping Tosh’s head.

'Your DC Ross does know this isn't an open bar doesn't she?' Duncan asked ignoring Jimmy's question.

'How much has she had?' 

'Not sure, she'd started before I came out to cover Ken's break. You'd better join them and let her eat something to soak up some of that up. I’ll send Stacey over in a few minutes since I reckon you’ll be the only one not ready to order.’

A slight frown crossed Jimmy’s face. 'I still need to talk to you later.' 

Duncan sighed. 'Alright just go and join them before there's any damage done.'

'Jimmy! You made it.' Amber exclaimed as she tottered up to the bar having escaped from the table again and attempted to wrap her arms around Jimmy’s neck.

Jimmy's look of embarrassed frustration as he tried to untangle her gently would have been funny at any other time but Duncan was relieved when Ken loped back up the stairs to take over again and tell him that there was a problem with the till downstairs which let him escape and leave Jimmy to deal with his admirer.  
  


'Excuse me?' 

Duncan looked up from where he was restocking the glassware and telling himself he wasn’t shamelessly avoiding going back upstairs. Tosh's boyfriend was standing on the other side of the bar.

'Yes?'

'I'm Donnie um…'

Duncan nodded. 'Tosh's fellow.'

'Aye. Is Tosh around? She said something about being at a party here.'

'Aye they're upstairs.’ Duncan eyed his nervous fidgeting. ‘You alright?'

'Just got some news.'

'Good I hope?'

'I think so. The old fish factory got bought over by the company I’m woking for now and they’ve offered me a job at it if I want it.'

'That should stop Jimmy worrying Tosh’ll forget to come back north some weekend. You'd best not keep the lady waiting then.'

'Yeah uh.' Donnie looked around the bar clearly not knowing where the stairs were.

'Come on then.' Duncan lead the way to the stairs in the back corridor and upstairs before giving Donnie a push in the right direction and wandering over to speak to Ken at the bar.

* * *

The plates from the main course were cleared when Jimmy spotted Duncan back upstairs and heading for the bar then nudged Tosh when he saw Donnie walking nervously towards the table.

'Donnie,' Tosh scrambled to her feet. 'What are you doing here?'

'Came to see you.'

Jimmy watched with some trepidation as they stepped away from the table for a bit of privacy. He winced internally as Amber took the opportunity to slide over into Tosh’s seat and link her arm through his to let her rest her head on his shoulder.

‘Jimmy, can you give me a lift back to mine tonight?’ She asked. ‘I think I’ve had one too many.‘

On his other side Rhona gave an indelicate snort and he gave her a helpless look of frustration while Billy and the others across the table refused to meet his eye and sniggered over their empty plates. Traitors all of them.

Before he'd managed to answer Tosh’s squeal of delight caught everyone's attention and they looked over to see her hugging Donnie before nearly bouncing back over to the table dragging him after her.

'Donnie’s moving back. The fish factory’s being reopened.’

A little knot of worry that Tosh would leave eased and Jimmy gave them both a smile not able to object when Tosh took Amber's seat to let Donnie squeeze in at the corner.

‘That calls for a celebration.’ Billy turned toward the bar.

‘Already covered.’ Ken set a two chilled bottles of sparkling wine on the table.

‘Good man.’ Billy glanced at the barman before looking back to the bar and calling. ‘Duncan? You joining us?'

Duncan looked over at them and met Jimmy’s eyes fleetingly before shaking his head. ‘Sorry Billy, some of us are still on duty.'

'All of us are on duty tomorrow. So if you could close out our bar tab? Soft drinks only from now on.' Rhona asked ignoring disgruntled murmurs from the table.

‘I’ll start prepping the bill, together or separate?'

‘Together thank you.’ 

Ken left them to it and Jimmy watched as Duncan barely waited until Ken reached the bar for a before he vanished through the door behind it. Looking down at Amber’s hand still looped round his wrist he gently disentangled their arms and stood up.

'Excuse me a minute.'

Ignoring Amber’s disappointed pout he made his way between the tables to follow Duncan. Catching Ken’s eye he motioned to the door.

'Can I?'

Ken shrugged but raised no objection as Jimmy stepped into the short hall that led to the office.

'Duncan?'

Duncan was standing at the filing cabinet digging through the top drawer but turned around when Jimmy spoke.

'Don't worry Jimmy I'll make myself scarce tonight. The sofa bed in the flat upstairs is still made up.' 

'You don't have to do that.'

'Ah well women do prefer their own home comforts.’ Duncan waggled his eyebrows but didn't meet his eyes. ‘I'll catch up with you later sometime this weekend.'

Jimmy blinked then scrubbed a hand through his hair. 'For God's sake Duncan, even if she wasn’t half mortal. I'm not interested in Amber. I thought I'd already made that clear to her.'

Duncan leaned back against the filing cabinet and eyed him for a moment before nodding. ‘Ok, sorry. No more teasing.' 

‘Thank you.’ Jimmy acknowledged before trailing off wondering how to say what he needed. How to admit that he wanted this but that there was still a nagging doubt that it might all just be in his head and he needed to see if there could be a physical connection between them.

‘Jimmy?’ Duncan prompted, stepping closer.

‘I need to… I’ve never done this before and I’m not trying to hurt you but I need to see if I… If what I think I want can work.’

‘What are you trying to say?’ Duncan frowned at him and crossed his arms.

Giving up on words Jimmy reached out and curled his hand round the back of Duncan’s neck and kissed him. It was closed mouth, soft, almost chaste and for a second he thought Duncan wouldn’t respond then he shifted closer and returned the kiss. Duncan's beard scratched softly against him making him shiver. Physical connection definitely not a problem. Duncan breathed in sharply, then pushed him away. 

'Don't.’ He snapped, stepping back, one hand raised as though to ward him off when Jimmy reached for him again. 

Jimmy held still watching as Duncan took another step back breathing hard and a rather wild look in his changeable hazel eyes. 

‘Duncan?’ Ken’s voice carried into the office. ‘The downstairs till’s jammed.’

‘Coming.’ Duncan called back as he stepped around Jimmy on his way out of the office. ‘Duty calls.’ 

‘Duncan?’

Duncan paused at the office door but didn’t even glance back at hm. ‘Go and have your dessert Jimmy.’ 

‘We need to talk.’

‘Later.’

Duncan left the office leaving Jimmy looking after him wondering if he’d just made things worse.

  


Back at the table Jimmy took advantage of Carl Ridley having gone to the loo to take his seat opposite Rhona and keep out of Amber’s reach. Rhona gave him an unimpressed look but she handed his dessert plate across to him without him having to ask. 

The conversation had mostly tailed off by the time the plates were cleared and a few people had already left having given Rhona money to cover their meal. 

‘Duncan back up yet?’ Jimmy asked as Ken set the bill on the table.

‘Haven’t seen him.’ The barman said with a shrug.

Getting up he made his way downstairs to see if Duncan was still dealing with the till.

Looking around the lower bar he didn’t see Duncan anywhere but Judith was at the bar just tucking a receipt into the open till drawer. She looked up as he approached the bar.

'Where's Duncan?'

'He left. Said he’d a headache.' Judith slammed the till shut.

'When?'

‘Um.’ She glanced at her watch. 'About ten, fifteen minutes ago.'

'Thanks.' Jimmy headed back upstairs and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. Amber was missing from the table so he took the opportunity to lean down and speak to Tosh.

'Tosh I'm sorry to ask this but can you get Amber home?'

'Afraid she'll molest you in the car?' Tosh laughed.

'I walked here but I need to head on.'

'Something wrong?' She looked up at him in concern.

'I hope not.’ He pulled his jacket on. ‘So can you?

'Yeah we'll drop her off and let her down gently.'

‘I can take her.’ Rhona offered from his other side. ‘You two enjoy your night. Jimmy, I don’t expect to see you before noon unless you’re called out. Inverness has been complaining about your overtime hours again and we both know you don’t file the full amount anyway.’

'Thanks Rhona.’ 

The house was dark and empty when Jimmy got there but Duncan’s belongings were still in Cassie’s room where he’d seen them earlier so at least he hadn’t walked out. The sound of the front door closing had him heading back down the stairs.

Duncan was standing in the kitchen hands, braced on the edge of the bench staring down at his keys sitting on the surface. He didn’t look up as Jimmy stepped into the room but there was no way he hadn’t heard him come down the stairs.

‘I thought you’d left.‘ 

‘I went for a walk to try and clear my head.’ Duncan’s tone was flat.

As Jimmy stepped further into the room he saw Duncan tense so wandered over to lean against the corner of the dining room table. Close enough that he could gage Duncan’s reactions but far enough away that Duncan relaxed again.

Silence reigned for a few minutes Duncan hunched into himself alone in the kitchen looking miserable while Jimmy stayed by the table. Before this if he'd looked like that Jimmy would have gone to him, made them both a drink and let casual incidental touches show Duncan that he wasn't on his own even on the occasions when Jimmy thought he was a fuck up.

Now though it felt if he moved Duncan might bolt, vanish into the night And that was the last thing Jimmy wanted. Left alone Duncan could, and often did, tend towards self destructive behaviour. 

Eventually Jimmy couldn’t stand it the silence any longer. ‘Talk to me. I need to know what you’re thinking.’

Duncan gave a snort and finally looked up to glare at him. ‘You need? You said that in the Grifòn too. What about what I need?’ ‘

‘Ok.’ Jimmy nodded. ‘What do you need?’

‘I need not to ruin my relationship with my best friend, with what little family I have for the sake of an experiment.’

‘It… wasn’t...’ Jimmy stopped before he could deny his intention and admitted. ‘Ok yes it was a bit of an experiment but that’s not what I intended.’

‘So what else do you want?’ Duncan snapped. Jimmy flinched and opened his mouth but Duncan continued. ‘A quick shag? Get it out of your system and move on?’ 

‘No. I wouldn’t do that.’ Jimmy took a deep breath aware that things could easily spiral out of his control. ‘You said you didn’t want to risk losing me as your best friend. Do you think I’d risk that too just for a quick shag?’

Duncan blinked and stared at him for a few seconds the anger draining out of his expression. ‘You… I know you’ve put up with me for years for Cassie’s sake.’

‘Jesus Duncan.’ Jimmy sank down on the nearest chair as he tried to work out what Duncan was thinking. ‘If it was all just for Cassie then we’d have been fine dropping her off to each other and having the occasional phone call most of which would have ended when she was eighteen. How many other people have spare keys to the house? Which yes was partly for Cassie's sake but she’s not here anymore. How many other people do I take in on a regular basis?’

‘I just assumed your other friends don’t have a train wreck of a personal life.’

‘There is that,’ Jimmy admitted, ‘but you're my closest friend. I can't imagine a future that doesn't have you in it, probably pissing me off but there. Here. This summer I've missed you being here. Not just having someone else in the house since Cassie was here, but actually missed you when you weren't here.'

'What about Alice?'

'Alice was.... I'm not entirely sure what Alice was. She was a possibility, a connection to times when I was happier.’ A thought occurred to him. ‘Did you think I was just biding my time?'

'It seemed possible.’ Duncan finally moved, coming around the end of the bench to sit on the bar stools. ‘You liked her, you'd already offered to wait until she was sure what she wanted. Waiting until the whole mess with Chris was over could've been part of it.'

'When Alice said I needed to be alone, apart from everyone I realised that I hadn't been fully alone for some time. We're part of something already even if it's not well defined. It’s why I told you that it wasn't true that weren't part of things anymore. The possibility that you were going to leave, leave me... that hurt more than Alice. I just hadn't followed the thought quite this far through as to what that might mean.’ He paused. ‘You never even considered that I might say yes to you did you?'

'No Jimmy, because you're straight!'

'Apparently not as straight as either of us thought. I kissed you remember?’

'You were married.'

Jimmy stared at Duncan waiting for him to realise just how ridiculous that sounded. 'By that argument you're twice as straight as I am.'

'Ok that didn't make sense but I mean have you ever had a relationship with another man?'

'No. I haven't, I've never really indulged in that beyond the occasional thought or quick fantasy. Doesn't mean I'd rule it out though. Besides have you ever had one?’ Jimmy challenged. 'The relationship bit anyway. I know you've never ruled out a fling due to gender.'

'There are times I worry just how much you and Fran discussed me.‘

‘Well complaining about you was our first joint hobby.’ Duncan flinched slightly and Jimmy sighed wondering just how it was that Duncan always seemed so confident but had so many doubts about his place in the lives of the people who loved him. ‘That was a joke Duncan. You’re Cassie’s father you were always going to be a part of our lives, whatever happened. Over the years you came up in discussion more than a few times, if you were going to possibly ever have more than a fling we’d have to explain it to Cassie.’

Duncan made a face effectively acknowledging that he’d likely have left any explanations to Fran and Jimmy to deal with before admitting. ‘No. There was nothing that could be described as a relationship even if you were being generous with the definition. I kept all that off Shetland after… Well let’s just say some youthful experimenting ended badly.'

‘Duncan?’ There were a lot of ways Jimmy could interpret that sentence, few of them had any good connotations. Something of the worry must have shown on his face because Duncan shook his head.

‘It was nothing. On my side it was a bit of fun, neither of us were who we actually wanted so I didn’t take it seriously. Apparently he did. It imploded quickly. I never did react well to people trying to make decisions for me but it never... escalated. Besides name me one teenager that didn’t make at least one stupid relationship mistake and you can’t say Cassie, one you're biased and two she moved halfway round the world for the first boy she was serious about.’

‘Okay.’ Jimmy let it go, pushing Duncan for details would only end up having the opposite effect and it seemed to be the truth if not the whole story. 

'Jimmy’ Duncan sighed eventually. ’I don't know how to be what you'd want from me. I snore, flail around in my sleep, drink too much and am perpetually unfaithful. I don't trust myself not to flirt and mess things up. And then there’s Cassie.'

'I'm not asking you to not flirt, that's nearly as automatic as breathing for you, but if you want to take it beyond that... I'm not asking for promises of happy ever after, just be honest with me? Preferably before there's anything more than simple flirting. If it ends it ends, but if we're open and honest with each other then we can work through most things for us and Cas. She's an adult, she doesn't live here full time so it mostly just affects us.'

Duncan snorted in disbelief. 'Really?' 

'No,' Jimmy ruefully acknowledged the lie in his own words, 'but if she wants us to let her live her life then she has to allow us to do the same.'

'She'll kill me if I hurt you.'

'Then don't. If you really don't want to give it a try, then we can go on as we were. Either in separate rooms here or living separately like we did over the summer when Cas was home.'

‘You really think we can do that? Just forget it and go back?'

'No, but if you're serious about not losing what we have then we'll have to work around it. I don’t want to lose you either.'

Duncan sighed and scrubbed at his face. 'I'm too tired to work this out.'

'I'm not asking you to decide now. Go to bed.'

‘Right.’ Duncan headed for the stairs, pausing briefly in the doorway but continued on without doing any more than giving him one last puzzled look.

Jimmy waited until he heard Duncan stop moving around upstairs before he stood up and pulled off his jacket, dropping it onto the table. Moving into the kitchen Jimmy lifted down the bottle of Talisker and poured himself a good measure sipping at it slowly as he leaned against the sink.

Yesterday, when he'd allowed himself to consider Duncan as a possible partner, he'd at least had the reassurance that Duncan wasn't going to despise him for it. Duncan however had spent years apparently convinced that, while Jimmy accepted his bisexuality in theory, it would still be asking too much to accept those feelings existing towards him. Now confronted with evidence that his interest was not only accepted but returned it was up to Duncan to decide what he wanted. Jimmy couldn’t push him on it.

‘Cassie’s right, we’re both tragic.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My musings on the pictures used on Shetland including Duncan's group picture frame https://eliabrith.tumblr.com/post/189357602279/eliabrith-watching-shetland-and-working-up-a


	5. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK finally!!!! I’d love to say I had a good excuse it took this long, but I don’t really beyond I did change jobs at the start of November and had very little time or energy to actually devote to writing but the majority of this has been at least drafted since the end of December and I developed performance anxiety and crippling self-doubt about actually posting it. Then Douglas Henshall posted that they are about to start filming series 6 which gave me a kick up the rear and I've reached the stage where I'm editing commas I need to post it so I can move on to the other rabid plot bunnies....

Midnight had come and gone long ago but sleep still eluded Duncan as he rolled over to stare at the ceiling yet again. Jimmy had come up not too long after him but despite pausing briefly in the hall outside the door he'd left Duncan alone to stew in his own thoughts. Not that he’d made any progress in sorting them out.

Giving up on the idea of sleep he got out of bed, relieved himself in the bathroom then quietly made his way downstairs, not sure what he wanted but knowing he had to move to stop his thoughts spiralling any further.

The timer controlled lamps on the sideboard and windowsill were still on, casting enough of a glow that he didn’t need to turn on any further lights as he moved into the room hissing as he stepped onto the cold tiles. A drink would maybe help. There was still coffee in the cafetière, long gone cold but even if it had been drinkable that wouldn’t help him sleep and boiling the kettle seemed too much effort to go to at this time of the morning.

Jimmy had clearly helped himself to a dram before bed, the glass and bottle left sitting on the bench. Duncan lifted the bottle, reaching automatically to untwist the cap, before slamming it back down beside the wine rack in frustration. Jimmy hadn't asked him to stop drinking and he hadn't, not completely, but sitting alone in the dark with a bottle wasn't a healthy way to do it. Last time it had lead to him waking up miles away, with a splitting headache and no idea where he was, or how he got there. He preferred not to think about the bodies he'd found washing in along the shore or how close he’d probably come to joining them.

Lifting the glass he moved to the sink, turned on the tap and rinsed it out before filling it with cold water. Turning he leaned back against the sink and took a sip as he let his eyes wander around the familiar room that had felt like home for far longer than he’d been staying in the house.

He'd made his peace with his feelings for Jimmy years ago, deciding he would never say anything because having Jimmy in any way was better than the risk of losing him. In his mind Jimmy tolerated him, mostly for Cassie’s sake, probably considered him a friend of sorts but would never want him back. Apparently he hadn't given Jimmy enough credit, but then when you’re trying to keep your own secrets hidden getting close enough to see someone else’s was a risk he'd not taken.

With Cassie gone from the island he’d honestly thought Jimmy wouldn’t object to his selling up and moving on, one less disaster to worry about so when Jimmy had made his offer of the money for the bistro the cash itself was almost secondary in importance as Duncan had seen the offer as something tangible that could keep them tied together if they wanted it. He'd been putting money aside since the opening so he could pay Jimmy back anytime he wanted it but it seemed Jimmy was happy enough to be part owner, even joking he could live the cliche of retired cop turning barman.

Jimmy didn't do things on a whim, not things that might have lasting repercussions. Case in point his slamming the brakes on his fling with Alice until she’d decided what she wanted out of her tangled life. Which meant that Jimmy saw the business as a possible future for the both of them, together.

That Jimmy had also seen it as a viable option for them to have a relationship, had been willing to reach out and make the first move had been staggering. Then instead of grasping the opportunity he’d wanted for longer than Duncan would ever be willing to admit he’d balked, literally walked away from Jimmy in the office earlier, then again in the house and was now standing shivering in the same cold kitchen afraid to trust himself not to ruin their business partnership, their friendship and his whole life on Shetland.

The timers on the lamps clicked off plunging the kitchen into darkness.

'Fuck my life.'

Crouching down beside Jimmy's bed Duncan leaned on the edge for balance.

'Jimmy?'

In the dim light filtering through the curtains from the street lights he could just make out Jimmy roll over then lift his head to look at him.

‘Duncan.'

‘Do you really want this? Me?’

Jimmy dropped his head back onto the pillow with a groan then sat up. 'Yes.'

‘Why? I’ve destroyed every relationship I've ever had.’ Duncan swallowed. ‘You know what I’m like. I can’t lose you. How can you even consider it?’

‘I do know you.’ Jimmy reached over Duncan clicked the bedside lamp on before looking back at Duncan. ‘I also know that if it’s something you want you do work at it. Answer me this if it was so important then why were you planning to sell up and leave?’

Duncan shrugged and glanced away. 'The same reason I always have. If I walk away then it's my decision. I didn't want you to find out and tell me to go.'

'You're your own worst enemy.' Jimmy sighed with frustration. 'OK. When you were thinking of selling to Benson why did you stay?'

'You asked me to.' Duncan admitted. Jimmy’s open appeal of “Don’t go.” after admitting his frustration at Duncan’s actions was a first from Jimmy, from anyone.

'As simple as that?'

'Hardy simple Jimmy.'

'No.' Jimmy agreed. 'I don't think much of this will be simple but I do want this, want you.' He reached out and wrapped his hand round Duncan’s wrist. 'You're freezing, get in here.'

Jimmy tugged the quilt out from under Duncan's arm and held it up in clear invitation.

'I do have my own bed.' Duncan managed after blinking at him for a few seconds.

'And it's probably as cold as you are. In.' Jimmy tugged at his arm so Duncan rose and slipped onto the edge of the bed tucking the quilt around his waist.

‘Not quite what I meant. Are you always this difficult to get into bed?’

Duncan swallowed and glanced at the open door half wanting to leave and pretend this conversation hadn't happened. Behind him he heard Jimmy sigh and felt gentle fingers wrap back around his wrist again.

‘Sorry, that was unfair.’

‘Jimmy.’ Duncan sighed. ‘If we... if we try this. It could wreck everything and what about Cassie?’

‘I’m more concerned about you at the minute. Come on lie down.’ When he hesitated Jimmy added. ‘Just to get warm. We can talk.’

Jimmy wriggled backwards to give him space while Duncan slowly lay down on Jimmy’s abandoned pillow and stared at the ceiling ignoring Jimmy shifting beside him as he lay back down and tugged the quilt up around them both until Jimmy rolled over to look at him and yelped as his feet brushed Duncan's. 'I'm buying you slippers for your birthday.'

'I have slippers.' He objected.

'Then for both our sakes wear them. Frostbitten toes are not attractive.’

‘They’re in the flat and your kitchen floor is hardly that cold.’

‘Your feet say otherwise.’

Duncan rolled to face Jimmy and gave him a hard look. ‘That’s what you want to talk about? The temperature of my feet?’

‘No.’

‘Cassie then?’

‘If we do this… She has to be the first to know.’

‘She does,' Duncan agreed then admitted. 'and that terrifies me.’

‘But we don’t have to tell her straight away. We can give it a try and see how it goes. Then tell her, if there’s anything to tell.’

Duncan closed his eyes and nodded.

‘Is that a yes then?' Jimmy pressed. 'Are we doing this? Cause I need you to be sure.'

‘Yes.’

He could hear the rustling of the sheets but didn't open his eyes until Jimmy rested a hand on his cheek having shifted closer.

'Have you really never done this?' Jimmy wasn’t the only one who needed to be sure.

'No. Thought we established that downstairs?'

‘I'm just checking Jimmy. Not even any teenage experimenting while boarding at Anderson?’

‘No. You were there.’

‘Ayem that's why I'm asking. I know what some of us got up to. I remember you and Isabel Muir doing a line, it’s not impossible there were others.’

‘No, I never got up to much at school and one kiss does not mean I went out with Isabel, Donnie got his act together too quickly for that.’

‘Poor Jimmy.’ Duncan mocked.

‘Hardly, she was more like my sister. Fair Isle can feel a bit incestuous at times.’

‘Versus thinking about shacking up with your daughter’s father?’

‘Are you trying to talk me out of this?’ Jimmy gave him a half hearted look of disapproval. ‘I’m guessing you didn’t make it out of Anderson with your virtue intact?’

Duncan couldn’t help breaking eye contact, concentrating instead on the wall over Jimmy’s shoulder. 'Let’s not get into that.’

‘I’m not asking for details Duncan.’ Jimmy’s fingers twitched then stroked through the short hair behind his ear.

'No I didn’t. Not that I’m ever admitting it to Cassie. It was more a case of too many, too often.'

'Too young.' It wasn’t a question and looking back at Jimmy there was no mocking just a faint concern.

'Probably.’ He admitted. ‘But back to you.’

‘The answer’s still no.’

'OK.' Duncan nodded, mostly to himself.

'OK what?' Jimmy asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

'OK so we take it one step at a time. You decide what you're comfortable with and when.'

There was a range of emotions that flitted across Jimmy's face from almost comical dismay to rueful relief before he leaned in for a kiss.

It was more relaxed than the one in the office, a gentle sliding pressure with Jimmy's lips soft under his. Some of the earlier urgency in the office was gone now that he knew it wasn't going to be a one time only deal. What he'd been meant as a brief kiss lengthened when Jimmy hitched himself a little bit closer and skimmed his tongue along his bottom lip. Duncan couldn't help the little sound he made, opening his mouth and letting Jimmy in as the kiss deepened. They continued like that trading kisses for a few moments with Duncan ruthlessly suppressing every urge to push things just a bit further. Eventually an urge of a different sort became impossible to suppress and he broke the kiss to turn his face into the pillow futilely trying to stifle a yawn.

'Not boring you am I?' Jimmy teased.

'Sorry.' He yawned again then rested their foreheads together as they caught their breath.

'Have you had any sleep?'

'No. Too much going on in my head. Want me to go?' He offered pointing over his shoulder at the door.

'Stay.' Jimmy caught the gesturing hand and pulled it back down between them holding onto it loosely.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah.’ Jimmy smiled. ‘Get the light will you?’

Twisting around Duncan managed to flick the bedside lamp behind him off then settled back down again with another yawn.

Jimmy ran a hand over his own chin then reached out and scratched his fingers through Duncan’s beard sending prickles of sensation running through him.

‘This will take a bit of getting used to.’ Jimmy sounded thoughtful.

‘They’ll be a few other differences too.’ Duncan aimed for nonchalance.

‘I had worked that much out.’ He scratched his nails back up Duncan’s jaw and Duncan saw him smile when he shivered before reaching up to still Jimmy's hand.

‘Oh aye? Well if you were serious about us getting some sleep and not exploring the other differences then you should probably stop that.’

Jimmy froze at his words and gave him a confused look. ‘What?’

Duncan shrugged. ‘It’s been a while.’

'Since when?'

'Since Mary.'

'Seriously?'

He probably did deserve the incredulous look the accompanied Jimmy's question but he didn't have an answer as to why he'd abstained. Not one he was willing to vocalise just yet anyway so he let his eyes slip closed.

* * *

When Jimmy blinked awake at the time he usually got up to go to work he was desperate for a piss and far too hot. The heating had come on and Duncan had shifted closer in his sleep, his face buried in the crook of Jimmy's neck snoring softly the rest of him was firmly pressed along his side, some bits firmer than others.

Shifting carefully, trying not to wake him, Jimmy got out of bed and tried to make his way around the bed to the door with just the weak post dawn light that filtered through the curtains. He caught his toes on the leg at the corner of the bed and only grabbing the edge of the open bedroom door stopped him from landing face first on the floor. Cursing quietly he hobbled to the bathroom relieved himself, then washed his teeth and downed a glass of water to cool down a bit before heading back to the bedroom. Unless there was a call from the station he might actually get to have a lie in.

Duncan was sitting up in the middle of the bed looking at him blearily as he stepped into the room and turned the radiator off.

'Time for work?'

'No. Rhona's making me take some of the hours I'm owed. Shove over, my toes don't like me being on that side of the bed.' Jimmy pulled his slightly damp t-shirt over his head with a self conscious jerk and dropped it in the washing basket.

'Oh? So it's fine for mine to risk a stubbing?' Duncan objected while eyeing him with interest. He did oblige though, shuffling across to leave space for Jimmy to crawl back into the bed.

'You can just learn to avoid the bed end, I’m too set in my ways.' Jimmy paused as he climbed in and frowned over at Duncan. 'How did we get back on the subject of your feet?'

'At least they're not cold at the moment.'

‘No. I’ll have to adjust the heating if we’re going to be sharing.’ Despite his comment and being over warm when he woke the room was still cool enough that he tugged the quilt up as he settled down. Looking up he found Duncan still sat up watching him. 'I haven't changed my mind.'

'I’m still not quite sure why.'

He plucked at the hem of Duncan’s clammy t-shirt. 'Take this off and lie down.'

‘Why?’

‘Because barring an emergency I don’t have to go to work and, unless you do, I think you should stay with me. Less chance of you deciding this never happened.’

Duncan sighed as he reached up, tugged his t-shirt over his head and lay down, leaving a decent gap between them, apparently not even going to deny that he might have tried ignoring the situation.

Jimmy watched him settle down looking more awkward and uncertain than Jimmy imagined. For someone who had spent most of his life happily tumbling any willing partner Duncan's reluctance could have been hurtful if Jimmy didn't know him as well as he did. Casual was easy for Duncan, that this wasn’t probably shouldn’t have been a turn on.

Shuffling closer Jimmy reached out and let himself touch, trying not to catalogue the differences from what he was used to, flat planes with crisp coarse hair rather than smooth curves. After a few seconds of surprised stillness Duncan reciprocated the touch but seemed determined to stick to his stated intention to let Jimmy lead, mirroring his movements, more a simple exploration of bodies than a deliberate attempt to arouse.

Jimmy caught Duncan’s hand trapping it against his chest and waiting until he’d actually met his eyes to speak. 'When I thought about this I did think you'd be a wee bit more enthusiastic.’

‘I don’t want to push you too much.’ Duncan frowned. ‘You thought about this? When?’

‘I had to do something while stuck on Unst.'

‘Oh aye? And there I thought it was a crime scene you went to.’

‘Yes but I didn't spend the whole night there. I thought about this. Had to... I don't.... I had to see if it would work.' He stopped, aware he was tripping over his own words, and aimed a dark look at Duncan who had apparently abandoned reserve for amusement. 'Stop laughing.’

‘I'll try.' Duncan managed, mostly successfully, to suppress his mirth.

‘I'm not just going to offer myself up to you out of some misguided obligation. There had to be some attraction there. If I couldn't at least think about it then there was no point in even mentioning it. For the most part I don't do fast relationships I've had the odd one night stand and the odd one that went a bit further but they didn't mean much when they started. You do.'

Duncan blinked at him, lingering amusement fading as the words sank in. 

‘And?’ Duncan finally asked when the silence between them got too heavy.

‘I had no complaints.’ Jimmy shrugged, aiming for casual but probably failing by the flush of heat he felt in his face and Duncan's reaction.

'Jesus, Jimmy.' Duncan gaped at him for a moment before he managed a teasing. 'So what did you think about then?'

'Oh piss off!' Jimmy huffed then rolled onto his back trying not to join in as Duncan laughed at his embarrassment.

He focused on the ceiling until Duncan slung an arm across him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

'Sorry.' Duncan propped his head on his arm to look at him.

Jimmy squinted at him, insincerity rang in Duncan's apology but there was nothing but delighted amusement the last of his hesitancy apparently gone. 'No you're not.'

'No, not really. So no chance of you telling then?'

'Shut up.' Jimmy leaned up and kissed him, not suppressing an answering twitch of his lips when he felt Duncan grin into the kiss.

The kiss deepened and quickly turned into a blur of heat, hunger and need as they shifted for better angles and maximum closeness, both of them chasing for more skin contact with wandering hands.

Jimmy smoothed a palm around Duncan's ribs finding an old scar and traced it causing Duncan to yelp as fingers brushed against a ticklish spot. The momentary distraction allowed Jimmy to press him back into the mattress and fit their bodies closer together, groaning as their erections lined up, separated through layers of cotton, reminding them that they were still partially dressed.

'Off.' Jimmy muttered tugging at the waistband of Duncan's pyjama bottoms. 

'Are…' was as far as Duncan managed to get before Jimmy swallowed any more words by kissing him and rocking their hips together. 'OK, OK.' Duncan muttered as he broke the kiss and blinked up at him. 'Your going tae hafta get off.'

'That's the general idea.'

'Off me.' Duncan laughed.

'Right.'

Jimmy had long ago found, that despite what was seen on screen, there was no way of undressing yourself or your partner that was in anyway suave or sophisticated. It was no different with Duncan and he thought they should count themselves lucky to have avoided flailing elbows and feet landing anywhere delicate, all coordination seemed to have deserted them as underwear and pyjama bottoms were pushed down legs and kicked off before they rolled back together in a flurry of kisses and wandering hands.

Reaching between them Jimmy ran his fingers along the length of Duncan's erection watching as his eyes fluttered shut in response before he wrapped his hand around it and stroked, the action and rhythm long familiar even if the angle was new. Duncan arched into the contact with a sharp intake of breath his snapping open to stare at Jimmy before scrambling to reciprocate.

They didn’t last long. However slow they’d been to reach this point once acknowledged the desire unleashed between had built quickly and its release was fast and mind blowing.

Duncan came first, his breath stuttering into a harsh groan. His grip on Jimmy loosening by some reflex while the rest of his body locked up then relaxed.

Panting and close to his own release Jimmy thrust into the circle of Duncan's, fingers now too slack for the friction he needed.

'I've got you.' Duncan murmured into Jimmy's neck as he adjusted his grip. It only took a few more strokes before Jimmy came too, adding to the mess between them.

He slumped down, careful to land beside Duncan rather than on him and lay there, eyes unfocused as he tried to sort through the emotions racing through him.

'Jimmy?'

There were layers of questions audible in Duncan just saying his name but he didn't have the mental energy to sort out any undercurrents and their meanings so he just curled closer, tucking his right ankle around Duncan's and hoped that it might answer a couple of them. 

Duncan just sighed and gave him a minute then wriggled slightly, half pulling away to reach something, before gently wiping at the cooling mess between them with whatever fabric he'd managed to snag. 

'Sticking with each other is good, actually sticking to each other isn't fun.' Was muttered into Jimmy's hair as he settled again.

'Hmmm.' Was all the agreement Jimmy could manage as he drifted off.

* * *

Duncan blinked awake after an hour or so trying to work out where he was, the morning light was coming into the room from the wrong direction for him to be in either his flat or Cassie's room. Movement in the room behind him brought back memories of the early morning and he stretched frowning when he realised the bed behind him was cold and empty. Turning over he found Jimmy by the bedroom door already freshly showered and pulling a jumper over his head.

‘Hi.’ He offered, trying to gauge Jimmy’s mood.

'Breakfast.' Jimmy muttered.

'Shower first.' 

Jimmy nodded acknowledgement and left the room without actually meeting Duncan's eyes. 

‘Fuck.’ Duncan banged his head back into the pillow. Shuffling to the edge of the bed he retrieved his pyjama trousers and soiled t-shirt from the floor then made his way to the bathroom for a quick shower. As he closed the door he could hear Jimmy clattering around in the kitchen below. 

It had gone quiet by the time he stepped out from his admittedly brief shower and went into Cassie’s room to get dressed. Jimmy’s curt almost silence wasn't the worst reaction he'd had the morning after but it wasn't what he'd hoped for considering the assurances he'd managed to extract from the man.

Sitting down on the end of Cassie's bed to pull on his socks Duncan looked around the room and debated whether he should pack up and take himself back to the flat, give Jimmy sometime to work through whatever bee was in his bonnet and hope he hadn't messed everything up irrevocably or if he should go downstairs and risk a confrontation that would have a fifty-fifty chance of either fixing or finishing their relationship. The second option hurt but countering that was the fact that Jimmy didn't just do things on a whim, not with so much at stake and he'd had made the first step, admittedly a cautious one in the bistro last night. 

Heading downstairs and stopping at the end of the breakfast bar he found Jimmy sitting on the arm of the couch in the living room staring out the window into the yard. From behind there was no sign he'd heard Duncan come into the kitchen and from the tense line of his shoulders there was little to indicate if his continued presence in the house was welcome. By contrast the toaster had been dug out of it’s kitchen cupboard home and two slices of bread sat waiting to be pushed down, two mugs sitting by the kettle that had clearly been boiled and two plates set out on the bench with cutlery, butter and jam.

‘Should I go?’ He offered.

‘What?’ Jimmy frowned at him over his shoulder.

‘Do you want me to go?’ He gestured towards the front hall and when he looked back Jimmy had turned and was watching him, his expression gone soft and fond.

‘No. Sorry, didn't mean to make you worry. I got lost in my head sorting a few things out.’

‘Fran?’ Duncan guessed.

Jimmy looked at him in surprise and nodded. ‘In every relationship I’ve had since Fran, there's a little bit of me that always feels like I’m betraying her.’ 

'Ah.' It wasn't something Duncan had ever worried about but Jimmy worked differently and to some extent still considered himself to be Fran's husband. 'Understandable I suppose. If you need space…? 

Even as he voiced the offer Jimmy was shaking his head at him. 

‘That’s just it. I’m not feeling like that.’

‘So... You’re feeling guilty about not feeling guilty?’

'It’s ridiculous, I know.’ Jimmy looked away as he scrubbed a hand through the hair at the back of his neck.

‘Maybe.' Duncan allowed, relieved that the problem wasn't him. 'It’s very you though. I’d be more worried if you weren’t overthinking things.’

Jimmy gave him a half hearted glare then stepped forward to kiss him. It wasn’t a prelude to anything, despite the way Duncan’s pulse picked up, but it was more comfortable and familiar than a relationship just a matter of hours old should be. They stayed there, wrapped up in each other for a few minutes, until there was a grumble from Duncan’s empty stomach to break the mood followed by an echo from Jimmy. 

‘Toast OK? Or there’s cereal.’ Jimmy offered apparently a little flustered which made Duncan smile.

‘Toast’s fine.’

Jimmy stepped away into the kitchen and pushed the bread down in the toaster while Duncan followed and flipped the kettle on for the few seconds it would take to boil up again. 

‘You want tea or coffee?’

'Tea.’ Jimmy requested. ‘I've drunk a lot of coffee over the past few days trying to stay awake.' 

‘It worked though.’

‘Not according to Tosh.’

Duncan dropped a bag in each mug then poured the water in and raided the fridge for milk. Fishing the bag out tea he turned to hand it to Jimmy who was absently staring at the toaster.

‘Jimmy?’ He asked nudging him when he didn’t react.

‘Hmm?’

‘You getting lost in there again?’

‘I’m just wondering what Fran would think of this.’ Jimmy mused taking the offered mug.

Duncan swallowed dryly and moved away to sit down on one of the bar stools as he considered his response. The young Fran he remembered from their early relationship would have laughed and joined them, but during the seven years they’d been together she’d grown-up and settled down in ways Duncan never managed which meant the Fran Jimmy had met and loved at times had seemed like a different person to Duncan. It meant that they had different opinions on what Fran’s thoughts might be on various subjects. The toast popped up startling him out of his thoughts to see Jimmy pluck it out and drop a slice on each of the waiting plates before putting in two more slices.

‘OK, ignoring that if she was here to have an opinion this would never have even crossed your mind. She’d tell you you had terrible taste in men.’ 

Jimmy gave him a disgruntled look as he sat on the next stool.

‘You disagree?’

‘No, but I think all three of us got insulted in a single comment somehow.’

Jimmy focused on his breakfast and seemed willing to let the subject drop so Duncan was happy to do the same including reaching over the hob to snag the extra toast when it was ready. 

'So what's next?' Duncan asked as he wiped his hands on a square of kitchen roll.

‘I don’t think there’s any order to our relationship. We’re already living together and we’ve brought up our daughter. I might need to do a bit of research though.’ 

It wasn’t what Duncan expected Jimmy to say, he’d meant what were the general plans for the morning rather than anything more precise. ‘Research?’

‘About this.’ Jimmy waved his hand in a vague gesture between them then at the ceiling. ‘And that.’

‘Ah.’

‘So research, online.’

‘Not porn.’ Duncan stipulated.

‘What?’ Jimmy blinked at him over the rim of his mug.

‘Don’t use porn for research. It’s fun but accuracy isn’t the main point of it.’

‘There’s more than porn online.’

‘Uh huh.’ He agreed. ‘Out of interest is that computer of yours actually yours or is it work’s?’

Jimmy's silence, as he distractedly broke the crust laying on his plate apart. spoke volumes and Duncan laughed.

‘Well that could be an interesting conversation about the proper use of police resources. Did Cassie not leave you her old tablet?’

‘I’m not…’ Jimmy stuttered as he flushed at the idea of using Cassie’s tablet. ‘She uses that when she’s home!’

Duncan laughed at his discomfort. ‘You can clear the history. Besides she’s probably looked up lots of things on there herself.’

‘I don’t want to think about that. Books then?’

‘Not sure the local bookshop would have, other than a hotline to the local gossips and if you’re going to the library let me know so I can come with. I want to watch if your planning to ask Miss Kirkland for a book on gay sex.’

‘I’m not going to ask Vicky about...’ Jimmy trailed off his expression a mixture of horror and embarrassment. ‘Why would you say that? I have to talk to her from time to time for work. I’m never going to be able to look her in the face again.’

‘Pity I was hoping to watch her squirm for once. She always picked on me in school, kept accusing me of copying homework.’

Jimmy stared at Duncan in disbelief for a few seconds. ‘Half the time it was copied! Normally off mine.’

‘Ooops.’ Duncan laughed and admitted. ‘I’d forgotten that.’

‘Convenient.’

‘Not really. I spent most Fridays in detention.' 

Jimmy’s mobile ringing interrupted any retort he may have added and Duncan seeing Tosh as the contact name picked up his plate, taking it and his mug to the sink as Jimmy answered the call.

‘Perez.’

‘Sir, I know you’re not due in yet but there’s been another break-in near Sandness overnight. A holiday let this time.’ 

Duncan glanced back at Jimmy with a raised eyebrow. He had a small croft on the far side of Sandness but it was out on a long term lease and he thought the couple would have called the office or even him directly if it was his.

‘It’s not one of Duncan’s?’ Jimmy asked for him.

‘No. I doubt he’s involved unless he’s been trying to take out the competition.’

‘Oi!’ He objected while Jimmy tried not to laugh.

There was a brief silence from the phone then ‘Sorry Sir’.

‘I think he’s got an alibi.’ Jimmy said drily as he got up to grab his coat. ‘If it had been his I’d have saved time and brought him with me.’

‘I can pick you up on my way past.’ Was the last thing Duncan heard Tosh saying as Jimmy headed out the door already slipping into work mode.

Rolling his eyes Duncan gathered up the rest of the breakfast dishes and added them to the sink turning the tap on as he heard the front door close.

‘Hey.’

Looking up from the filling sink he found Jimmy standing in the doorway tucking his phone into his pocket.

‘Problem?’

Jimmy shook his head. ‘I... What time are you finishing tonight?’

Duncan thought about the rota he’d worked out. ‘I should be able to get away after the first service and staff breaks.’

‘OK. I’ll pick something up for dinner and let you know if I’ll be late?’

Nodding Duncan tried to work out if there was any difference in how Jimmy was asking now compared to the other similar conversations they’d had over the past few months then gave up when Jimmy stepped closer until he could press a quick kiss on him, backing off when a car horn sounded outside.

‘That sounds like Tosh. I’ll see you later?’

‘Yeah.’

Jimmy headed for the front door as the horn blared a frustrated ‘I’m coming!’ cutting off as the door slammed and Duncan hurriedly turned the tap off with a smile, maybe they could make this work.

End

Written 2019-2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially the longest finished work I have done... so far...


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